Julo's Journey

My mother, Juloe Elizabeth Gauthier, was born in St. Paul and lived in the same house on the West Side her entire childhood.  At some point, the 'e' was dropped from her first name, but I was never able to find the origin of either version.  I recall stories that her father named her after a star that was used for navigating by Norwegian sailors, or that it was the name of his first love.  Either way, it suited her.  It was unique and memorable, just like she was.  She had beautiful black curly hair, intense brown eyes, and a laugh that got the attention of everyone in the room.  She had a sense of mischief that had clearly started when she was very young, and a fiery side.  If she wasn't happy with something that was said or done, she would shoot a look that made her point very well.

As a child, she loved art, sewing, archery, swimming, and rollerskating--all passions that stayed with her throughout her life.  When she graduated from Humbolt High School in the late fifties, she went on to get married and start a family.  She had four children--two girls and two boys--and was a stay at home mom who devoted most of her time to volunteering at her kids’ schools, scouts, and church.  She also had her own business as a tailor, and made beautiful clothes for several clients, including me.  She taught me to sew when I was around 12 years old, after my custom clothing requests became too elaborate for her patience.  But she was always willing to repair my sewing mishaps.  I think one of her favorite spots on earth was her sewing room--a warm and cozy place with a straw mat on the floor, an old family trunk full of hundreds of pieces of fabric (a trunk that I have in my living room today), and walls covered with photos of her favorite things.

My mom joined the workforce when my brothers and sister and I were in junior high and high school, and found her niche in the health care field.  She worked at a few hospitals before she ended up at Abbott Northwestern, where she worked for nearly 15 years.  Although she enjoyed her job, she only worked so she could do the things she loved when she wasn't at the hospital.  She had a free spirit and was very independent (something she instilled in me as well).  She cherished life and appreciated nature, especially being in the woods walking, camping, or painting the beautiful scenery she surrounded herself with.  She kept her camping gear in the car year round, so she could take off on a whim, and head for the forest.  She also enjoyed just sitting on her deck, feeling the sunshine on her face, and admiring the beautiful gardens she tended to so lovingly.

Her sense of adventure led her many places, not just in travel, but hunting for treasures at antique shops and flea markets, finding the perfect pottery or jewelry at the Renaissance Festival, or discovering just what she was looking for at an art show.  Her love of children inspired her fun spirit--she roller skated into her fifties, dressed up in costume every Halloween, and collected antique toys.

Something I really admired about my mom was that she found pleasure in simple things like putting handmade bows on Christmas packages, sending Valentines to her kids, and decorating her house for every season.  Her warm smile, laugh, and gentle nature drew people to her.  She had a lot of class, an artistic sense of style, and often wore vibrant colors that mirrored her personality--her favorite was purple.  She was good to her children and her friends, and was always willing to lend an ear, a shoulder or her time.  She always gave so generously of herself.  She made the people she was near feel special.

She was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer in 1997.  For 23 months she fought with a strong will and brave spirit.  She never gave up, even in the end when her body could no longer serve her beautiful soul.  When the nurses told her she shouldn’t walk, she’d muster up all the strength she could to get up and walk across the room.  She hated being cooped up in the house and would ask to be taken out for a meal, even though she barely ate a thing.  She was determined to care for herself and although she had always been so generous, she found it difficult to accept help from those who loved her.  She didn’t want to burden anyone.  She didn’t know she was giving them a gift--especially me.  I had the pleasure of being my mom's caretaker for the last months of her life, and was finally able to give back to her what she had given to me from the day I was born.

My mom’s wish was to spend her last moments surrounded by the comforts of home.  Thanks to a wonderful team of hospice nurses, health care workers, volunteers, friends, and family, we were able to give her greatest gift of all.  She died with dignity and was surrounded by the people, pets, and things she loved.  On November 29, 1999, my mom Julo’s journey took her back to the beauty of nature that she respected and loved so much.

I will never, ever forget my mom, and I think about her every day.  She was a role model in many ways, and I see so much of her in me, especially as I get older.  This past year has been the most difficult of my life, and I often compare my own journey with cancer to hers.  She is one of the reasons I was able to make it through, because she was with me every step of the way.  She is in my heart always.

Happy Mother's Day.