Don't you wanna talk to your Cricket?

I recently stumbled across this journal entry about my dad and it made me smile.  It was written a few days after I finished my final round of chemotherapy.  He would have turned 70 this Sunday.  I really miss him.  Maybe it's time to make a call to heaven...

I had a dream about my dad this morning.  I called his old number and he answered the phone--turns out he was answering from heaven.  At first he was a little grumbly (my dad always had a grumbly side) but when I asked, "Don't you wanna talk to your Cricket?" he perked up and said of course he did.  I asked what he was doing and he said he had to work.  It was a Sunday in my dream and I said I was surprised he had to work--I thought for sure there would be no work in heaven on Sunday.  He said there was always work to do and asked if I wanted to go out for Chinese food later.  I asked if I could invite my friend Nicole.  He said yes and we talked about where to go.

I woke up feeling like I had really talked to him.  It was so nice to hear his voice--deep and calm and even a bit grumbly.  I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and called his old phone number.  I knew I wouldn't reach him but hoped his voicemail would pick up and I would really get to hear his voice.  I got the standard operator greeting saying the number had been disconnected.  I hung up and felt a strange craving for Chinese food.

I got out of bed and brought the dogs outside.  My heart felt so full of life.  What a beautiful day!  I sat on the steps and felt the sun and breeze on my bald head.  It felt amazing.  When I looked up at the cottony white clouds in the vibrant blue sky, I knew that my dad was there, he was everywhere.  I had an overwhelming feeling that today was the start of something new, and that everything was going to be OK.  No more chemo, no more cancer, no more pain.  And although I couldn't reach my dad by phone, he would always be with me, helping guide me through my journey.